Social media is great for some things. Keeping in touch with friends, reconnecting with people you’ve not seen in years, keeping tabs on your exes, all that fun stuff. The downside is that users tend to share information that’s demonstrably false or misleading. Don’t get me wrong, they have the best of intentions. But the end result is that some of this nonsense goes viral, leading to tons of people relying on it like it’s gospel.
Beware Social Media Nonsense
Here are just three examples of what I’m talking about. There are many, many others floating around social media.
If You’re Lost or Need Help, Update Your Outgoing Message
This one cropped up a few years ago and, like the proverbial bad penny, it keeps coming back.
My sweet summer child, you need a cell signal in order to change your outgoing message. If you have a cell signal, then your priority should be contacting someone for help. Why wait for some rando to call your phone? I mean, most of us don’t even listen to the outgoing message anyway. We hear the message start, we hang up, and we send a text. Your best bet with this particular self-rescue approach is that the guy calling about your extended car warranty actually listens to the entire message and is moved to call the authorities.
A far better plan, if you can get a cell signal, is to text 911. Texting uses less battery power than calling. It’s also more likely to get through if the signal is sketchy.
Wasp Spray is Self-Defense in a Can
I tried to do a deep dive on the history of this one a while ago.
As best as I was able to determine, this got started back when it was common to fax jokes and such to one another. Sort of the precursor to sharing memes like we do today.
As the story goes, someone somewhere heard about another person who worked in a school who was told by a police officer to keep wasp spray in the school office in case there was some sort of violent encounter. This is like one of those classic Friend of a Friend (FOAF) stories, like the guy with the hook for a hand who preyed on teens making out in the woods.
Near as I can tell, the only reason wasp spray was singled out amongst all the other bug sprays is that it has a range the others lack.
While anything sprayed into an eyeball will cause momentary discomfort, pepper spray is far more effective against people than wasp spray. Plus, the container is smaller and easier to carry with you than a typical can of wasp spray.
Burn Crayons During a Power Outage
This one is true in a technical sense, but it’s still kinda dumb.
Here’s how this often plays out on social media. Someone will post this meme or something similar to it. Then, several people will comment, “Great! Next time I go to the store, I’m going to pick up a box of crayons to keep on hand for power outages.”
If you’re at a store that sells crayons, I’m betting they also sell actual candles. Those will burn cleaner and provide more light than crayons. On top of that, you won’t need to listen to your kids crying and screaming because you’re destroying their beloved Crayolas.
Just because you saw it on the internet doesn’t make it true. Use your head for more than just a hat rack and think it through before you click Share.
[Note — all of the images included here have spread throughout social media, and there is no practical way for me to credit properly to their originators.]
