Military couple shocked to find a loaded gun inside the baby shower present they purchased at Goodwill
A Military Times report with the above headline has me chuckling this morning. A number of theories come to mind. Many quite ridiculous. You can read the amusing story at the link but I’ll summarize it really quick before we get to the origin story.
A couple buys a baby bouncer at the local thrift store for a baby shower, being both practical and economical. The thrift store sold the sealed and probably good condition box and bouncer for $10 without opening it because it was sealed. The employees of such places do not get paid to function test every last item that gets donated or be an expert on them so this is more than plausible. Inside the box however, was a stored and ready .22 Mossberg 715T
They look like AR-15’s to people unfamiliar with AR-15’s and take a couple of the same furniture parts but are otherwise a wholey different animal dressed up to look “tactical”. Because that was cool in the 2000’s.
So the couple got a rifle, ready to go, stored in a baby bouncer box by someone else for some unknown reason. The rifle isn’t listed as missing/stolen so it is likely the legal owner put it there at some point for some reason (in the box, not to the thrift store… maybe).
And now we theorize! Why was his rifle in this box?
The Blue Helmet Baby Boog Special – Theory 1
A common enough tale I’ve been told by the odd foil headwear connoisseur is that they are going to store X gun away for when UN troops come into the country and try to take all the guns. This was universally a very cheap firearm which they would conceal in some ridiculous manner or another to be dug up (sometimes literally) when the moment came to start dropping the blue helmet ‘goon squad’ and taking their weapons ala Red Dawn style.
Someone stashed this .22 with its ammunition ready to go. They taped it back into the box until the flag went up it it was time to start ‘droppin’ bodies’ all like… pew… pew… or something like that. I honestly hate the 715T and all it stands for as the mutant tactical turd it is trying to be. I’ve never even seen one run decently well enough to give it the nod of at least shooting alright.
But it’s ready! As ready as it’ll get…
So theory gunmageddon seems plausible. Ignore the improbability of it all or that the UN troops (or any troops for that matter) would have to be missing an extra special bunch of brain cells to want to be on ‘gun grabber’ duty in the US. But that thought has generally not crossed the mind of someone preparing to take on troops with the cheapest thing they can get their mits on.
So what happened? This was taped up and stuffed in the garage or attic or some other corner, got picked up on a donation run by the wife/gf/mom or whoever and off it went to the next loving family.
Oops.
Operation Gunbo Drop – Theory 2
My second concept has to do with a deeply concealed pass off from one party in supply to another party in need. The needy party needed some firepower.. clearly not like.. very much.. but just a little bit of firepower. They also needed discretion. Lot’s of discretion. An overly absurd amount of discretion.
So.. a plan was put into motion. Gun supplier put the ready to rock n roll .22 into the bouncer box, nobody would look in there for a gun! (But they might for a baby bouncer, good thing nobody has babies anymore) and then planned to leave it a location nobody would think…
The Thrift Store!
People drop items there all the time and people pick up items too. The “baby bouncer” would be held incognito with no connection between supplier and end user. It’s perfect… unless.. ya know.. someone happens to need a baby bouncer and picks up that conveniently placed one in the box at the store.
Incognito arms movement foiled by thrifty soon to be parents. Now whatever great and noble cause must go on.. rifleless.
Oops.
“If you buy one more gun I swear…” – Theory 3
Warned… for the last time. That if he brought one more gun home the consequences would be dire!
But.. it was such a good deal. It couldn’t be passed up.
So a plan was put into motion. A box acquired, where a gun would never be. A no longer used bouncer that had been packed away was tossed and the rifle put inside instead. The acquisition was safe. The dire consequences avoided.
And then because a bouncer wasn’t needed anymore the wife packs it into the car at off to the thrift store it goes. It’s been taped shut and stored forever, no need to check it. The rifle, so well hidden in bouncy camouflage, is gone.
What’s a man who wasn’t supposed to get another gun to do? Confess to getting another gun? Confess to hiding that gun that he wasn’t supposed to get? Do they even realize their precious prepper prize is missing?
Oops.
