In the modern world we face many threats; assault, robbery, wildlife, natural disasters, and geo-political assassinations. But while the self defense industry has really perfected fighting traditional threats, one area that it truly lacks in is dealing with the Occult.
Sure, we have all thought about the zombie apocalypse and how could you not? Popular TV shows have proven that the main thing to worry about in a zombie apocalypse is weak writing.
What about the other lesser known but still dangerous things that go bump in the night? While by no means comprehensive this article will help guide your way on identifying and dealing with other worldly threats.
Identifying your threat.
Werewolves
Heckin’ big ol’ pupper doin’ you a concern friendo? Well worry no more.
The Werewolf or Loup Garou is really only a concern during certain times of the month, much like my ex wife. So when the moon is full, trade out those Gold Dots for some silver bullets.
Silver, being highly and immediately toxic to the lycanthrope, will be doing devastating damage. Now don’t let that go to your head shot placement is still king. So calm down, focus on your sight, and boop that werewolf right in the face.
Now a note on silver ammo. Silver is not only costly, but also not a great metal for making bullets out of. So when you are melting down your grandma’s silver drawer make sure to copper jacket those silver slugs. Also make doubly sure you don’t leave a mag of silver ammo in when you hit the range. At 4 dollars a round, you will have a costly bill drill (assuming around 124 grains of silver).
Recommendation: Personally I prefer my Glock 34. The Holosun 507c makes fast and accurate hits on moving targets a breeze. Furthermore the cocking serrations and sight housing mean easy malfunction clearances while you hold off that werewolf with the other hand. Add some factory 19 rounders or Magpul PMAG 21 rounders and you’ll have plenty of precious metal to share with that furry aggressor.
Vampires
Dracula. Vlad. Chenobog. Spike. Sekhmet… Edward?
Okay maybe not that last one, but the rest of those names are bound to stir up some ugly thoughts of ancient blood sucking threats. While these lords of the night can drain you faster than a Black Friday sale at Brownells can drain your wallet, there are some simple things you can do to keep yourself safe.
Legends and lore say vampires can’t come into a house unless invited. So instead of a welcome mat, set out one that tells him “Come back with a warrant.” Vampires have a similar weakness to silver as their furry counterparts, ammo commonality. Vampires also have an aversion to Garlic and Holy Symbols. So keep a picture of John Moses Browning and a couple of cloves and you should be able to keep them back.
Recommendation: Personally I take a page from one of my favorite YouTube channels. Demolition Ranch, and whip up some special shotgun rounds. I remove the birdshot and load it up with minced garlic. Loaded up in a ten-round round magazine in my Mossberg 590M, I alternate silver buckshot and garlic rounds for a potent, if somewhat fragrant, defense.
Zombies
I know I know. Is this 2009? Most of you probably have in-depth zombie plans. But bear with me a moment (note to self: worry about zombie bears) because I want to discuss something I think needs discussing.
A .22LR is not an appropriate zombie defense weapon. The only known effective methods for zombie removal are a headshot and total body destruction. You still need to penetrate the skull and deal some damage if you’re not wielding high explosives or a flamethrower. Countless times we have seen .22 glance off and bounce away. So while a break down .22 has a great place in your bug out bag it is time to retire it from you anti-zombie loadout.
Instead? What if I told you that you could get tons of practice monthly towards fighting the zombie horde?
Well you can, at your local USPSA match. With stages designed for you to have to move around barricades and accurately deal with targets at a variety of ranges it is the best way to start getting ready for the undead horde we all know is coming. Plus now with their new pistol caliber carbine division you have an excuse to build another AR15 variant.
Recommendation: Personally I leave the long guns at home. I strap on the STI DVC Open 2011. Sure it costs a pretty penny. But this optic equipped, compensated, high-capacity, and accurate race gun is as at home at a competition as it is turning the undead back into the dead-dead. Available in both 9mm and .38 Super you will have plenty of power for getting through those thick noggins. Plus a number of professionals in the field of dealing with monsters have recommended STI pistols.
Cultist
Nothing worse than getting woken up on a Saturday by a pushy person with a pamphlet. Well, except for groups of people cursed by reading tomes of forbidden knowledge trying to bring about the end of the world via ancient squid gods.
While your average cultist is just your standard human, they do have some things that make them particularly dangerous. Namely magic.
When dealing with large crowds of people wearing robes and chanting you need to be careful. Especially if you find yourself encountering them in New England while getting some lobster rolls. Most cultist don’t have any real magic, however keep a sharp eye out for ones with big scary books who are reading latinish things out loud. Those guys need to be dealt with right quick.
Also be cautious because these situations often involve hostages. Resist the urge to go all Old Man Henderson and leave the molotovs at home. If you happen to find one of these old scary books, do not read out of it. I repeat DO NOT read out of it.
Recommendations: This old ones problems needs a new world solution. And I look no further than my Knights Armament SR-25 E2 Combat Carbine, combining a heavy hitting 7.62x51mm round with a quicker and easier to use carbine length barrel. Not to mention the KAC ambidextrous lower making operation easy for left or right handed shooter. It give me the confidence to face the second worst thing New England has to offer after Patriot fans.
This article, by no means, was comprehensive. In fact we left several threats off due to length. At another time we may cover Humboldt Folk, Fish People, Owlbears, Wendigo, and worst of all Mimics.
But hopefully now you find yourself better prepared those threats that go bump in the night. Stay Spooky Friends.
