Top Ten Reasons Why 2020 Was Not the Real Apocalypse tm

I actually made mother/daughter Xena costumes one year for Halloween. No you can’t see them.

I know it’s been a tough year. I know that the number “2020” has become a synonym for profanity – and it isn’t even over yet. But this wasn’t the “Big One”  – it wasn’t the Real Apocalypse we all prepped for. Just consider it a practice run. Look at it as an (albeit unpleasant) systems check.

Nonetheless this year has indeed sucked, so to cheer us all up and remind us that it isn’t all that bad even though it feels that way, here are my top ten reasons why this wasn’t the REAL APOCALYPSE tm:

10-My neighbors complimented my garden instead of stealing from it (or killing me over it).

9-You aren’t using leaves to wipe your butt. Stores are still open and you can still find toilet paper and some ridiculously priced ammo and canning supplies.

8-No zombies (unless politicians count).

7-I’m not using my rain barrel for drinking water. (And I’m still getting a water and sewage bill)

6-I’m not (yet) serving possum for Thanksgiving dinner.

5-I still have a medical practice with real medications and am not yet dispensing herbal remedies from my front porch like Claire from Outlander.

4-My credit card still works.

3-Amazon still delivers.

2-People still have their damn Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving.

And the number one reason how we know that 2020 was not the REAL APOCALYPSE tm

1-Politicians still exist and are STILL infringing on our rights.